How do you mourn two things at once?
It’s a dilemma that cuts like a knife
The betrayal versus the untimely death
The loss of bond and the loss of life

Do I 
admit to being wrong?
Does your 
demise make you right?
Does your
end grant you power?
Do I
seek your pardon for my part in our fight?

My heart was still freshly cleaved in two
And the falling tears still hadn’t dried
But how could I move on when you had moved on
And so swiftly became the Grim Reapers bride.

Was this somehow orchestrated?
Was this your wicked arrangement?
To burden me with guilt and resentment
To blame your end on our estrangement.

I was once your shining light.
Before the light at the end of the passage
I wonder if you would not have given in
If my light hadn’t been so damaged

“What now” I whisper to my flickering lamp
Its dull glow provides no answer.
It exchanges incandescence for a patchy void 
Amidst the shadows, a phantom dancer

Is this the void in which you reside?
Or are you enjoying your time in heaven
Laughing down at this stupid girl
Whose shameful eyes are leaden

How can you mourn two things at once?
Because I won’t be able to forgive you
For the way in which we parted
And the way I wasn’t able to rescue

You