Help When You Need It

Following up on my most recent post, I just want to say that there is always available help when you need it.

A few weeks back in school we did a health expo, and one of my friend’s topic was emotional health (mine was adrenaline, which I will be doing a post about next week) and she recommends plenty of resources and help lines that anyone can access if they need to.

Emotional and mental health is a very important part of the entirety of your health because if those sections fall apart, it is very likely that others will as well, such as physical health e.g. when someone calls you fat, it is likely your reaction will go in three possible directions:

  1. You do nothing because you are a generally buzz and zen person and critics opinion affect you, but not in a negative way. You possibly make a few positive changes, but nothing to bold.
  2. You decide, maybe this person is right and you let it affect your physical health by not eating as much, which can lead to weight monitoring diseases like anorexia.
  3. Then maybe you would do the complete opposite of variable number two and plop down on the couch, binge watch some popular Netflix television show and over eat. This causes obesity.

(Of course these three broad results branch out to a number of more intricate ones, and the neutral, negative and positive variables are practically endless!)

But anyway, here are a few apps that can help you monitor and sort out any confusing or difficult emotions. (At the end there are also some local – in my area – helplines and clinics.)

  • Youper
  • Daylio
  • Smiling Minds
  • Talk Life
  • Moodpath
  • Depression CBT
  • What’s Up
  • Pacifica
  • Happify
  • Kids Helpline
  • Tweens Clinic
  • Live4Life

Standing there
Alone
With the unforgiving rain plummeting down onto her dewy skin
Turning her characteristic hair into sharp, iron bars that have imprisoned her
The bars that she refuses to let anyone pass through

She doesn’t let anyone find the key to that iron cage to set her free
Because she is afraid

Afraid that if she finally opens up
People might help her
People might listen
People might blindly give her drugs that turn her into an emotion she is not

Happy
She dreads it
Always deserting herself from everyone else
Building those iron bars up so tall and so strong that they become pillars
Pillars that hold up a castle of depression

She is afraid of letting the fragile feeling out
Because she knows that if she lets it out of its dungeon
The dungeon that she has kept it in for years

That it will explode
And burn
And scorch the remains of the castle until it is in ashy decay

So she stands there
Alone
Letting the cool wind whip her
With the fire of sadness warming her amongst the chill of the day

Her dark, agonized eyes peak through her mop of hair
A glance is all it takes
For them to notice her

And suddenly she is not alone

Alone

Okay, very deep there Emma…

I just want to get one thing straight – even though I will often write about depressing stuff, do not worry, I am not depressed. Just to make it crystal clear, I carry no bad mental health, I am just a generally deep person.

I just want to say that the poem I’ve just written, even though it may effect you when you read it, I don’t want you to believe it. I don’t want you to fall under the spell that lots of people have been tricked into falling under. I want you to know that even though this poetry suggests otherwise, that you are not alone in this world. People do care, you just need to take the time to find the ones that do.

Because, trust me, there are going to be people out there who don’t approve of anything we do, and you know what? That is totally okay. Because if we didn’t have the people who don’t like us as much, everything would be beige and everyone would have neutral relationships with everyone else. It is good not to absolutely adore everyone and have everyone adore you, because it makes you appreciate all the people you love (and that love you) even more.

I’m not saying that you need to specifically chose some people to not like, and I am definitely not saying that you need to go out and make enemies, because these things will just fall into place. Just be polite and friendly to everyone you know, and the ones who are truly meant for you are connected by soul, and you will find them eventually.


Letting my shoulders sag 
I sink even deeper into the earth that is somehow still holding me up
Relentlessly making me live this life

This life that has screwed nails into my already sunken wounds
This life that has thrown daggers into my heart over and over again
This life that ticks by so slowly
So slowly and painfully
With every second proposing a new disaster

The only thing there for me is death

Death comes wrapped up in a black, glass box
It gives you the choice to open it with welcoming arms
Or it smashes open with a hammer
With each singular piece splintering your skin
Lingering each jab at the skin it gave you when you were born
Slowly murdering its own child

Deep rooted
Everlasting
Boisterous
Rebellious

Invincible

Death makes you famous
At least that’s what I’ve learned

Every time you finally make that life changing decision
Every time you break free of the ropes that bind you
Every time you rip off the tape that muted you
Every time you come crawling towards death
Every time you plead for death to welcome you home

Somehow that’s when everyone notices you
That’s when people see the marks and the scares
The marks and scares that have become a part of your charisma
That’s when people finally care

Suddenly, you’re not just that shadow anymore
Suddenly, someone shines their flashlight on you
Blinding you with the lie that they actually care

But once they think they’ve got you off death row
Once they think they’ve got you convinced you’re not worthless

They switch that flashlight off

And you’re alone again

Wanting death to finally come and save you at last