I Don’t Know

Hello everybody! Sorry for not posting for a while, but coming to the end of the year, I have been extremely busy. But hopefully this place will be buzzing with words connecting stories, connecting posts when I get some free time during the Christmas holidays.

Anyway, since this is potentially my last post until Christmas, I just want to wish everyone a jolly time during the “most wonderful time of the year”. (I’m not being sarcastic or anything, I am just quoting the famous quote, and I didn’t want to say have a merry Christmas, because I had used the word “Christmas” in the same sentence!)

Until next time, enjoy yourselves, and I hope you enjoyed reading this very last minute poem.

(Also, I am very sorry for the really weird spacing, I do not know why it’s doing that, but try to enjoy it all the same! All you have to do is scroll sideways, and try to insert the pauses where you think it is appropriate, since you no longer have paragraphical spacing to help you!)


I don’t know
I feel like life is just a unkempt field of tangled thoughts,
observations and questions
All randomly bound together by loose strands of hope
So loose that they can be untangled and removed,
And poked and prodded, bent and straightened,
Or even snapped entirely

An answer is always awaiting at the back of my mind
But it isn’t just a one word answer
It isn’t just a simple “yes” or “no”

It is a journey 

A journey that twists and turns and pokes and prods
One that stays with you no matter how much you try
A place that you are forced back into in your dreams
A prison that lets you out
Knowing that you will come crawling back

But the journey is optional
And that outcome of seizing that chance
Whether or not you think it is worth it
It is a reward

A reward that you work for
One that makes you sweat and bleed 
One that breaks you, but not enough to kill you
Just so that you can see the end

The end that promises nightmares and nostalgia
That takes you back to life in the moment
The moment that killed you without killing you

But the reward
The reward is what makes it all worth it

And after you know the reward
The nightmares and memories become a blur
But a blur that you remember happily

Even if those seconds broke you
Even if those memories scalded you
You know that you earned that feeling of satisfaction
That your hard work payed off
And the answer is finally clear